These were written by my future mother-in-law about a wedding we just attended.

10 Ways to Make a Wedding Guest Miserable.

1.The only place to pee is behind a bush.
Even though there were two porta potties, bushes are always preferable.

2.Make sure the hike to the wedding venue has lots of mud puddles.
There must be a torrential down pour for these mud puddles to exist. And many people in high heals to sink through the mud.

3.Have a 2 hour wait between the wedding and the reception.
Yes, it must be 2 hours (longer is a plus).

4.Open the reception room so everyone can look out the window, and watch you have photos taken for 2 hours.
As if looking at the couple kissing and making out is a gag-me terrific moment, there should also be pictures of them in that stance for 2 hours. And remember, those two hours must be added onto the two hours between the wedding and reception.

5.Don't have a open bar.

6.Have the bride wear a stupid hat.
Top hats as a veil are always a plus.

7.Do not have a host or hostess.
Have people run to food without their tables being excused.

8.Do not have reserved tables for the parents and grandparents.
Make sure your family/parents have no place to sit close to the bridal party table. And also, make sure that the groom's parents sit by themselves way in the back.

9.Have the bride and groom kiss in stupid poses, until everyone wishes they would just go to their room.
See number 4.

10.Have the music so loud your ears bleed.

A new, upcoming DJ playing "good" songs from when I was in 7th grade (I'm almost 22 now) loudly for dinner music is that last must have.

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